Clarion C&MA Church
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Being the people of God - Doing the Work of God - Seeking the Glory of God

More Than A Pastor's Wife

A wife, a mother, and a friend.  But more than all of that....a fiercely loyal and mighty woman of God!

**********note - please feel free to leave a comment.  Your comment must contain a title or it will not post.
More Than A Pastor's Wife Email hifromsara2000@gmail.com

Command My Destiny

Wednesday, April 11, 2012 View Comments Comments (0)
(Taken from In Christ Alone-Newsboys)

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

While these are not my original words, I can stand and sing them with the same conviction with that which they were written.  It is my sin that put Jesus up on that cross and I have been bought with the precious blood of Christ.  

There are so many things about this song that really jump out at me.  I mean really there is not a bad line in the song!  I have pasted just a couple of verses here that tend to grip me the hardest.  “There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain.”  My darkness to be exact.  When I surrendered my life to Christ it was this very thought that crushed me.  Even before I was a Christian I believed in God and that His son had died on the cross, but what had never really occurred to me was how I had chosen to repay Him for that sacrifice.  I mean God’s only Son sent to die a death He did not deserve for sins I had committed, and in that freedom I was living a wretched life.  Complete with sexual immorality, lying, alcohol and drug use, and much more; there is little I have not done in my undeserved freedom.  “Then bursting forth in Glorious day, up from the grave He rose again.  And as He stands in victory, sin’s curse has lost it’s grip on me.”  Jesus stands in victory because death could not hold Him!!  And in His victory of overcoming death, I have victory!  Not because I am so good, but because He is; even when this world put Him to death for things He had not done, He was victorious!  And in that victory I was bought with a price.  “For I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.”

But that is not the end of the story.  No longer am I overcome with my sins, a slave to the things that once condemned me.  I am walking in a new found freedom; a real freedom that only comes from Christ.  “No guilt in life, no fear in death this is the power of Christ in me, from life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny!”  Each morning I am given the gift of life without guilt.  I can face trials and circumstances that would otherwise overwhelm me knowing there is no fear in death.  God was there before my first breath and He will be there when I draw my last breath, and for all my days I want my destiny to be commanded by my Lord!  And though this life has some hard days when I do not understand what is happening around me or why, and though I still find myself making choices that are not pleasing to God, there is rest in knowing there is still a Saving Grace in my life who loves me enough to die all over again if He had to.  No one, be that man or Satan, has the power to take me away from Jesus.  God knows every deep, dark secret that I have managed to hide from the world, and He loves me anyway!  “No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand.  ‘Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!”    I stand before you now a changed person.  I will never be able to fully explain what God has done in my life or what He can do in yours.  But I know it is in Christ alone my hope is found, and He is my light, my strength, and my song!  

 

Cigarettes and Salt

Thursday, March 22, 2012 View Comments Comments (0)
Recently, something my daughter said to me reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother.  I remember when I was in Elementary school my mother smoked cigarettes; and I remember being in Health class and learning that cigarettes were “drugs”.  I could not wait to get home and tell my mom the news, because I was certain once she found out she was doing drugs, she would never pick up another cigarette for as long as she lived, which I informed her would be much longer if she did in fact quit.  They taught us the effects smoking has on your body and I can recall crying to my mom, pleading with her to just stop smoking.   Soon there after she did in fact quit, although not because if my health class info. 
 
I bring all this up because while cooking dinner the other night Alicia and I had the following conversation, “Mom, have you put anything in those green beans?”  To which I replied, “Not yet.”  “Can you not put anything in them while you are cooking, and we could just use salt if we want at the table?”  I paused for a moment and asked why she was requesting I cook them this way.  She informed me she thought sometimes I use too much salt.  I began recalling other conversations we had had lately and starting piecing this all together; “Are you taking a health class right now?”  I asked.  She smiled and affirmed my suspicions.  She was looking out for my well being just I had done with my mother years before.
 
We can’t help but look after the ones we love, and when we find out they are doing something that is harmful, we are driven to warn them.  So I am not going to beat around the bush with this, I want you to know exactly where I am coming from.  While smoking and high sodium intake are not good for you, the effects those choices have on your body are all temporary.  The choice to ignore God and continue living any way you please, has eternal consequences.  Statistically, 10 out of every 10 people will die; and while not smoking and limiting your salt may prolong your death you will still not be able to beat that statistic.  Our souls however are a different story.  Regardless of whether or not we are cremated or buried, our souls will not remain with our mortal bodies.  I for one am very happy about this, as I am eagerly looking forward to the day when I can run and jump with two legs and without pain or restriction. 
 
Anyway, what will happen to our souls?  I have heard many different explanations about what happens after we die and I think most of us agree there is life after death.  But what that life looks like often can vary drastically.  I am not going to beat around the bush.  I believe when you die your souls spends an eternity with God, heaven, or away from God, hell.  I do not believe we come back as other people or even animals, but rather we return to our Creator and Author of our souls.  And from that point we are judged according to our deeds, as the Bible clearly states in 2Cor 5:10; For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
 
Remember earlier where I said we can’t help but look out for the ones we love?  I love you and I am sending out a warning.  Most of us don’t like to think about dying, somewhere in the back of our minds we think we still have lots of time on this earth.  But ask anyone who has tragically lost a loved one or someone who has faced death themselves through injury or illness; there is no time like the present.  We may live to see 100 or we could be snatched into eternity in the next 5 minutes.  Where do you want to spend your afterlife?  When we are standing before God it is too late to make our decision; again, there is no time like the present.  I am including a link to a site that goes into great detail about some of the misconceptions about securing your place with God for all eternity.  http://bible.org/article/scriptural-evaluation-salvation-invitations
 
Recently, I sat with a friend of mine who tragically lost both parents to an automobile accident.  Never did she expect to wake up to a family and go to bed that night alone.  Life is so fragile and I owe it to you to get the word out, to warm you if you will.  There is no time like the present, after all you are not promised a tomorrow. 
1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 “Son of man, speak to your people and say to them: ‘When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, 3 and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, 4 then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not heed the warning and the sword comes and takes their life, their blood will be on their own head. 5 Since they heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, their blood will be on their own head. If they had heeded the warning, they would have saved themselves. 6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.’  Ezekiel 33:1-6

A New Year

Sunday, January 01, 2012 View Comments Comments (1)
 While I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, I do have things in my life I would like to prioritize and the first of a new year is as good a time as any. As we all know, a new year also means another birthday. For me this will take place in exactly one week. And if the physical evidence from my aging body is not proof enough well 2012 will also bring my 17th wedding anniversary, monumental 16th birthdays for Dylan and Lindsey, and Ali (the baby of the family) will celebrate her 14th birthday. Seems like just yesterday they were so little and I could rock them to sleep on my lap. Now they are already talking about getting their licenses and driving!! Yikes! Time sure does fly by; which is why I want to set a few new priorities. Bill Keane said, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
 

Lord, please help me to live each day as though it is a present from You. Help me to appreciate my husband, my children, my parents and siblings, my friends, my church, and most importantly...You. God, give me eyes to see the hurting and compassion to do something about it. Give me boldness to proclaim Your name and faithfulness follow You, even when I am faithless. Thank You for loving me. In Jesus name, Amen

I have found myself telling people “I am real busy doing a lot of nothing.” While I know ministry is not “nothing”, that is not the stuff I am talking about doing. I am talking about the time I spend on facebook, or checking my email for the umpteenth time, or just sitting literally doing nothing. This is the first time in my adult life, I have not worked...like for a paycheck. This has allowed me to become quite lazy. By this I mean, there is no accountability for how I spend my time. I don’t have to be ready each day by a certain time, nor is there anyone putting certain expectations on me, say per a job description. I am free to spend the majority of my day any way I choose, to include in my pajamas. Now clearly I am not without responsibility, I mean I am a mother and a wife and that comes with some expectations of its own. Can I get an Amen?

So here it is the dawn of a new year and I am publicly asking for accountability. Please support me in prayer that I will get my priorities straight, and by that I mean make God’s priorities my priorities. Specifically, those things I listed in my above prayer, in addition to daily bible reading and time set aside for prayer. I don’t know what this next year will bring, but I want to love more, be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I want to honor God more and do more for the Lord’s Kingdom than any year thus far. I want to appreciate and take joy in the “present” my Father has given me.

Part of our church’s mission statement goes like this; “being the people of God, doing the work of God, and seeking the Glory of God.” This is what I want my 2012 to be about. I challenge you to examine our priorities in life; what does your life say is most important to you? 

The Christmas Spirit

Wednesday, December 14, 2011 View Comments Comments (0)

The intention of my blog was to serve as an insight to my life, however over the last year my posts have been sporadic and inconsistent at best. Somewhere along the way I put this incredible pressure on myself to blog only “spiritual” matters, when the reality is God’s spirit resides in me, therefore there is “spiritual” content in everything I do. Having said that, if you know me at all you know I am far from perfect, yet even in my moments of total rebellion to God, He is gracious to forgive me. 

With Christmas right around the corner, I can’t help but be a little concerned at the fact that this year December 25th, falls on a Sunday. Each year more and more people become indignant by how society has taken Christ out of Christmas. In the past we have gone so far as to boycott stores that greet us with “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas”. We post on every public forum we are a part of “Jesus is the reason for the season”. Still each year many of us find ourselves being caught up in the commercialism of Christmas. It becomes about presents and parties and shopping, and more often than not, Jesus never even crosses our minds while we are tearing into our gifts, chomping away at the delicious finger foods at the company’s Christmas party, and shopping?? Better give that one up! Being a Black Friday shopper myself, I can attest to very little brotherly love and treating others the way you want to be treated, rather it is all about a spirit of greed and selfishness. I mean who really needs six waffle irons? People are vicious to one another during the Christmas shopping season, where is Jesus in that? But I digress…back to Sunday.

Already we have been approached by multiple people asking about canceling services on Christmas, or at the very least nixing Sunday School. I understand the excitement of the much anticipated presents; however, where is our excitement over our Savior? On a side note, I do know the history of Christmas, and am totally aware that Jesus was not actually born on December 25th; however this is the time we have chosen to observe His birth. If Jesus is really the reason for the season, why are we not thrilled that Christmas falls on a Sunday this year? As Christians, this is an opportunity to demonstrate to the world around us just how important and significant Christ’s birth is to us. So important in fact, that we are not only willing, but honored, to wake up Christmas morning and go corporately worship the King of Kings. I challenge each one of you to truly look at what motivates you this Christmas. 

Joshua 24:15 (NIV)

15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

 

Miracle in Clarion

Tuesday, December 06, 2011 View Comments Comments (1)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

 

Many of you may know I recently had a hysterectomy, because of what the Dr.’s believed was cancer in my uterus. While this has been a trying time for my family, God has been so faithful to us. He has continued to stay two steps ahead of my doctor, and though this has been a lengthy process, God has always had a plan.

While I have had some female “issues” for some time now, our journey began like this... In August I went in for my yearly examine, while these visits are anything but enjoyable, I am an advocate for having this done. However, because of some unforeseen circumstances I was a few months passed my 12 month mark, thus leaving me feeling anxious about this visit. I prayed to God about my feelings, and in the stillness of my heart He let me know I was going to be fine – however, the results for my tests would not be “normal.” Thus it was no surprise to me when the doctor called to inform me they “found something” on my cervix and I needed to come in for further testing. I went in and had an outpatient procedure done to extract pieces of my cervix as well as my uterus for an additional biopsy. As Jerry and I awaited the results I was filled with peace. While I did not know God’s plan for me, I was very content with knowing He had a plan. It was at this time I prayed for God to be glorified in whatever was going to happen. If the tests came back positive for cancer I knew He had a reason, and that gave me peace. 

The biopsies came back clean, thus putting everyone’s minds to rest. We proceeded in treating some of the other “issues”, since cancer was no longer a concern. The Dr. gave me a plethora of information on possible treatment options. We prayed about it and felt as though God was leading me to have a surgical procedure known as a D&C with a Uterine Ablation. While there were more risks with this procedure, we just felt led of the Lord to go this route. The Dr. informed me one of the risks in having the ablation was it made detecting uterine cancer more difficult, as the lining is permanently scarred during the surgery, thus making it harder to detect tissue changes that are present with cancer. Understanding all the risks, I had my surgery on September 19th. The Dr. also informed me that during the ablation she always biopsies the uterus as an additional precaution (even though I recently had one). The surgery went well, and there appeared to be no complications. I was to return after a couple of weeks for a post-op check up and that would conclude my treatment. 

At the time I was not even concerned with the second biopsy of my uterus, as it never really occurred to me that it would come back abnormal. One week post-op the doctor’s office called and wanted to know if I was available to come in earlier than I was originally scheduled. While this concerned Jerry, I just figured it was a scheduling conflict.  I went in the morning of the 30th, and she told me the pathology report revealed cancer in my uterus. She was recommending a total hysterectomy. While the lab felt they could positively identify cancer cells, they did not feel as though they could determine where the cancer had originated or what stage it was in. I was in shock! My mind raced with so many thoughts. How was I going to tell my Mom? How was I going to tell my best friend, who lost her mother to female cancer? But even more, I wondered how I would tell my husband and children. I couldn’t even cry I was so stunned by the news. I drove home praying that God would use this cancer to draw my parents into His kingdom. Although I did not feel as though I was going to die from this cancer, I couldn’t help but think about the possibility. Death does not scare me, as I know this life is only temporary. But I am terrified by the thought of my friends and family, even people I have never met in third world countries, standing before God on Judgment day and being sentenced to an eternity of torture and torment right before my very eyes. The thought of it is unbearable – but it is a heart breaking reality none-the-less. I prayed over and over, “God please let my parents see how fragile life is and how we have no idea when our time is up. Please let this serve as a wakeup call, and may You get all the Glory!” I just couldn’t stop thinking about my parents.

I had resigned to the fact I would tell my mom that day, but I would not tell Jerry. It was his birthday, and I just didn’t want to hit him with the news on a day we were celebrating his life. However, Jerry informed me the news was “written all over my face”. He hugged me and we both cried. The comfort of his embrace was just what I needed to release my emotions. Looking at my husband, whom I love with all my heart, and telling him I had been diagnosed with cancer is truly one of the worst feelings I have ever had.   We were open and honest with the kids and with our church family. Petitioning for all the prayer support we could get. 

The surgery was scheduled for November 2nd. I feel it is very important to note how God was orchestrating everything. Remember the ablation was optional, yet God lead me to have it. Had I not had the ablation, the second biopsy would have not been preformed, thus the cancer would not have been found. God knew about those cells and He was taking care things, even unbeknownst to me. 

I was given several options as to who would perform the surgery and where I would have it done. Again, through much prayer, I felt like I needed to stay in my little town of Clarion with my gynecologist performing the surgery. However, she was scheduled to go out of the country for a couple of weeks, prolonging the surgery until she returned. I was ok with waiting, as I felt it was what God wanted me to do. We sent out numerous prayer requests all over the world as for praying for healing. There was great peace in my spirit about all of this. God was in control, and I knew He was taking care of me (even if I didn’t know what that looked like). 

The Friday before I was scheduled for surgery I had to go have my pre-op tests done and sign the last bit of paperwork acknowledging the risks of my surgery. I met with the doctor. She informed me that while I was waiting for her to return, the hospital (of its own initiative) sent my tissue sample to a different lab for additional testing. Further testing revealed “abnormal cells” however, they did not believe it to be cancer at that point. Had God performed a miracle healing in my body? Did the initial lab make a mistake? Did it even matter?? To God be the glory! 

Upon these recent findings I had more options than before. I could opt out of having a hysterectomy, I could undergo aggressive hormone treatments and further testing, or I could choose to have a laparoscopic hysterectomy rather than the more invasive abdominal surgery. My mind was overloaded with the information I was receiving. I came home and shared with Jerry the news, but together we didn’t know what to do. We did a lot of praying and talking, and seeking guidance from many people. Yet, in the end I really felt God was telling me to proceed with the original plan to have an abdominal hysterectomy, even though it was a more invasive procedure with a longer recovery time. The only change would be leaving my ovaries, rather than removing them as per the original plan. *This was good news, considering removing my ovaries would put me in “surgical menopause”.*

The surgery went well; however, it was necessary to remove one of my ovaries as a large cyst was present. My road to recovery began as we awaited the pathology results on my cervix, uterus, and ovary. Two weeks later the doctor called and gave me the final diagnoses; the biopsy of my cervix came back clean (no cancer).  The biopsy of my right ovary revealed a hemorrhagic cyst.   (A hemorrhagic cyst develops when one of the small blood vessels located in the wall of a recently formed cyst breaks for some reason. Blood from the vessel then spills into the body of the cyst, causing it to begin swelling at a fairly consistent pace.  As the blood engorged cyst swells, it stretches the covering on the ovary, creating a great deal of pain.)

            

The biopsy of my uterus revealed complex atypical endometrial hyperplasia.  Basically, this is the most aggressive form of precancerous cells.  There is a 50% chance the cells will progress into cancer.  However, praise be to God, a hysterectomy is considered to be the best treatment option.  As it stands right now, I will have some further testing (as a precaution) but there is no reason to believe there are any cancerous cells!!!  This is FABULOUS news!!  And I want to give all the credit to God!!  There have been so many people, from all over the world, praying for me…and God has answered our prayers!!  

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I recently read a quote from a Christian musician, he said,"So where ever we are in our lives, as random and out of control as it looks, just know at the end of my story Jesus is already there." --Mark Hall (Casting Crowns). Regardless of our story, despite not knowing how it all will end, we can take comfort in knowing Jesus is already on the other side of our circumstances. I am so thankful that I have God in my life and all He has done for me, and not just through this cancer situation. Statistically 10 out of 10 people are going to die, and we have no idea when our time has come. I am just not comfortable banking on the years to come for you to surrender your life to Jesus. With each passing day we are one day closer to Jesus’ return and the end of our lives. If you do not know for sure where you will go when you die, please let me know, and we can work through it together. I love you and I am praying for you.  

Lord, thank you for everyone who reads this blog. Thank you that we can know where we will go when we die. Thank you for salvation. Thank you God for my life. Thank you for the healing You have provided and all of the love and support I have received. Thank you for answered prayers and I trust You know what is best for me. I trust in Jeremiah 29:11. I trust in Jesus! I pray You use me to bring glory unto Yourself and to bring many lost souls into Your kingdom.

                                                                        In Jesus name…Amen

 
 

Do you know where you will go?

Monday, June 20, 2011 View Comments Comments (0)
     As some of you may recall, about 18 months ago I had a “near death experience”, (see blog entitled “What a Difference a Day Makes”). I had contracted the flu like millions of other people, however once I was done with the flu my compromised immune system was not able to fight off the pneumonia that immediately followed. The doctors said my body was ravaged with infection and that it was a “miracle” that my body had not gone into septic shock, which has a 50% mortality rate.  I knew I was very ill and the night before I was hospitalized I felt my body start shutting down. I knew I would be dying soon. It is hard to explain exactly how I knew, but I felt in the stillness of my heart I would not be around much longer. I bring all this up because despite the fact that I was facing death, there was peace in my spirit.   I did not fear death, nor did I fear what would happen to me after death. However, this has not always been the case. I think back to a little over a decade ago. The dawn of the new millennium, amongst all the rumors and feared black-outs and economy crashes, many people feared the world would come to an end. I was one of those people. I was terrified, and I mean that literally, to go to sleep that night for fear of what might happen. There was definitely no peacefulness in my spirit as I spoke of previously. I didn’t want to die and the thought losing my life, reduced me to tears. 
      As you may be aware, many people feared the very same thing about a month ago. Rumors spread about May 21 being “Dooms Day”. I read in the newspaper about people who didn’t go to work that week prior so they could spend their last days doing something “more meaningful or fun“ than working.  There were stories about families driving thousands of miles to be closer to family when the rapture came. I read story after story of people selling off all their possessions, draining their savings accounts, taking dream vacations, and some people even gave all their money to churches in the days leading up to that Saturday. My heart aches for these people; I have been there. 
      So how did I go from being terrified to having peace in my soul? While I cannot recall the exact date, but several years back I had a powerful encounter with the Lord; an encounter where I was overcome with my own depravity, again to the point of tears. And while in the midst of crying my heart out to God, death was far from my mind, the Lord in His infinite wisdom saw fit to prepare a place for me to be with Him in heaven. 
      Do you know where you will go? While I do not buy into the hype of knowing when the end will come, I do know this…10 out of every 10 people are going to die. Just like we have no idea when Christ is coming back, (Mark 13:32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”), we have no idea when we will die. Are you ready? Because just like the next verse says, “Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.” 

What a Difference a Day Makes

Friday, June 03, 2011 View Comments Comments (0)
     As I lay in bed sick with the flu superseded by pneumonia, three things played over and over in my head; first “what a difference a day makes”, second, the chorus from the song Jesus Only: “Jesus only, Jesus ever, Jesus all and all we see, Savior, Sanctifier, and Healer, Glorious Lord, and Coming King”, and thirdly, another song “How He loves”, specifically the first verse “He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are, and how great Your affections are for me.” 
     As some of you may know Monday is our day off, thus Monday, Oct 12th 2009, started like most; we slept in, got up at our leisure, and began the day. Sometime that afternoon I headed out to run some errands. I remember thinking how beautiful the weather was, warm with a breeze. I thought to myself how it was perfect weather for laying in a hammock. However, that afternoon I also began feeling a little “yucky”. I told Jerry I would go to the grocery store after I took a nap. I went and laid down, and never made it to the store. By evening I was really not feeling well, and later that night I began exhibiting classic flu symptoms. Fever-check, aches-check, vomiting-check…yep, I had the flu. This became more and more violent, and continued through Wed. morning. I had become severely dehydrated, and began drinking Gatorade once I could keep it down. I had been praying that the Lord would heal my body. And while I seemed to be getting worse, I knew God had not forsaken me. I knew He heard my prayers. However, Thursday I still had fever and felt really bad. We have a friend who is a nurse, and she came over and told Jerry to give me Tylenol and Motrin every three hours, round the clock. And let me just say, my dear husband set an alarm, and every three hours night and day, he would come in and check on me and give me my meds without fail!!! Well, rather than see improvement, my fever continued to rise, and I began having difficulty breathing. Friday my fever spiked at 103.3, despite round the clock meds. I was really feeling bad at this point, however we thought it was just part of the flu running its course, so we just dealt with it best we could. By Saturday things were really getting bad. My fever was 104.6 and I was so weak and hurting so badly I could barely walk or talk. I told Jerry I thought I was getting ready to die, and I meant that literally. In all my 34 yrs, my body has never felt like it did at this point. I felt like it was shutting down on me. There were many people praying for me at this point, and God was still faithful to me. We made some calls, one of which was to an elder in our church who works as a P.A. He advised us that I probably had a secondary infection and ought to go to a convenient care clinic to have a chest X-ray and blood drawn. So I headed up to the clinic. I went back to have my vitals checked, and because my heart rate was 137, they sent me to the ER. I continued to pray to God that the doctors would not just send me home with Tamiflu. However, the Dr. came in and immediately said, “lets draw some blood and get a chest x-ray.” “Thank you Lord”, I thought to myself. 
     It wasn’t until the Dr.’s came back and began telling me the details of my condition, that I understood all that God had done for me. My prognoses was bleak; the infection in my body was raging, my white blood cell count was 25,000, there was very low oxygen in my blood, I was severely dehydrated with a bladder infection (from the dehydration), a racing heart, pneumonia, and what they believed was the swine flu . The Dr.’s tried to convey to me the graveness of my condition, stating that it was a miracle that my body had not begun organ failure (septic shock). The infection was so bad, my organs should have already began failing. I was admitted on the PCU (progressive care unit) in critical condition. They closely monitored my white blood cell count, as well as the pneumonia. 
     When I got up that Monday I had no plans on dying. I am a mother and a wife; I anticipated seeing my children grow up, as well a life spent with my husband, just the two of us once our children go on to college. We had plans for Halloween, and even plans for that week. We had not factored in me passing away. But, God had some plans of His own!!! While I had prayed all week for healing, and while people all over the world prayed for my healing, my condition prior to being admitted continued to deteriorate. So why hadn’t the Lord heard our prayers? Why hadn’t He healed me? Make no mistake about it, He heard and He answered. Every Dr. I saw both while in the hospital as well as in follow-up appointments, have told me I should have died, and that I would have definitely “not made much longer”. This is what God delivered me from!!! He spared me from death!! I am alive and here to testify about how God saved me from death!!! 
     Like I stated before, we had not planned on me dying at the age of 34. Much like many other people, we thought I would be around for many more yrs. This is a false pretense so many people live by. Nowhere in scripture are we promised a long life with lots of yrs and lots of opportunities to come in line with God. God is calling us to repent, to turn back to Him. Here is what I know, 10 out of every 10 people are going to die. And when we die we will go one of two places, Heaven or Hell. The only “afterlife” we will see is an eternity spent with God or an eternity separated from God. It is your choice, but you have to decide while you are still alive. When your body dies, time is up; it is too late to decide. While I was not ready to leave my family, I had an absolute peace when I thought of where I would go if I didn’t make it. For yrs I thought if I “asked Jesus into my heart” I could check that block in life and be good to go. However, I have since come to realize that there was never a heart change, I was still living for Sara, committed to what I thought would make me happy. However, I stand before you now, bought by Christ’s blood, happier than I have ever been. If I had died without knowing Jesus a couple of weeks ago, when God asked me why I should be allowed to enter Heaven, I could not have given a valid answer. I could have tried to explain how I had been a good person, I mean after all, I have not murdered anyone, and also I am an honest person, and most importantly I am not near as bad as some people, right?  Wrong. God clearly states I will be judged based on my own choices, not graded on a curve based on someone else’s choices. And the truth is I am not a good person. Let’s just see who is “good enough” to get into Heaven using the 10 Commandments as our guide;
     Have you ever told a lie? If you answered honestly, your answer would be “yes”. I am a liar. Have you ever committed adultery? Before you answer you should know Jesus said if you look upon a man or woman with lust you have committed adultery in your heart. I am an adulterer. How about murder? You think, easy...not guilty. However, Jesus said if you hate your brother you are guilty of murder. I have hated many people in life, thus making me a murderer at heart. So what about honoring you mother and father? I wasn’t honoring anyone when I was doing these things, not my parents, and especially not God. So, do I deserve Heaven based on the 10 Commandments? Do you? But you say, “well…I am not doing those things anymore, “or maybe you think, “ok, but I only did that once.” Ok, how many murders does someone have to commit to be considered a murderer? 
          The Bible tells us that God is a just God, and that He punishes evil. And if we get right down to it, we want Him to punish evil. If someone killed a family member of yours, and they went unpunished on Earth, you would certainly like to think they will not go unpunished when they die. That goes for us as well. We do not deserve to be rewarded for our behavior, but rather we deserve to be punished for the things we have done, and God states that the punishment is death. However, this is not His desire for us. He does not want to see us spend an eternity separated from Him, and here is where Jesus comes in. Jesus never did anything wrong, yet He was killed. He took the punishment of death, for all of us who deserve it, so that we would not have to. When I was doing jail ministry, the girls could easily understand this concept. Imagine, you are standing before the Judge, sentenced to life in prison for your crimes and in walks someone else, someone who has not broke the law, who does not deserve life in prison, and He tells the Judge He will serve your time while you walk out a free man. This is what taking your punishment looks like, and Jesus did it gladly, because His love for us is so great. 
          So now what? Where do we sign up for Jesus to take our punishment? What do we have to do? The Bible says Jesus offers salvation as a gift. How do you obtain a gift? You just reach out and accept it from the one offering. However, in accepting the gift of salvation, there should be a heart change. After all, if you realize what you are being saved from, your heart should scream from the inside out with gratitude. And that gratitude looks like faith and repentance. To repent is to turn away from your selfish ambitions and lifestyle and turn towards a life that honors Christ, to stop living for you and start living for God. This is where just saying a prayer to “ask Jesus in your heart” fails. It is not about having Jesus “in your heart” it is about having Jesus as the Lord of your life. It is where you seek His will for yourself and your family. Where there is a clear distinction between the “old you” and the new born again you. See when you repent and put your faith in Jesus, the Bible tells us the old is gone and the new has come. You are no longer defined by your old choices, you are reborn or born again, and thus you are a new creation. You are forgiven and you are free to walk out the courtroom a free man. And there is faith. Meaning you are putting your faith in this gift, putting your faith in the fact that while you deserved death, God made a way for you to have life, through Jesus Christ. It means you trust it is not your works that will get you to Heaven, because let’s face it, if the guy that murdered your family member became an outstanding citizen, always giving to charity, does that change that he murdered someone you loved? No, does his charitable works make him any less guilty of murder? No, likewise, all the “good” we have done does not justify the bad. You will never be able to do enough good to erase the sins you have committed. That is why we need Jesus. 
          We are not all promised 80 or 90 yrs to get right with God. The doctors all said I should have died from the infection in my body. And we all know people who have died, some much earlier than we expected. If you are waiting to have a relationship with God until later in life, understand later may never come. I did not plan on getting sick and almost dying at the age of 34. Do you know when you are going to die? You may never have another opportunity to respond to God. What are you waiting for?   
 

Pushing the Limits

Tuesday, December 14, 2010 View Comments Comments (3)

I have really been struggling with our teenagers as of late. For those who may not know, we have three children, two of which are teenagers. Both Dylan and Lindsey are 14, and both are within a few months of turning 15..maybe! (Just kidding) I can remember what life was like for me at that age, and I can honestly say there is no amount of money that would persuade me to go back in time and relive it all again. Caught between your childhood and the fast approaching adulthood, you are too old to resort to your childish ways, yet too young to assume all the responsibilities of an adult. However awkward as it may be, we have all been there, but PRAISE THE LORD there IS life after high school. 

Both Dylan and Lindsey have really been pushing the limits lately. Trying to see just how much they can get away with before there are consequences. As their parent, this has me completely frustrated and often times feeling like a real failure. And because I tend to take their disobedience personal, their actions leave me feeling disrespected and completely unloved. I have expressed this to my children many times, yet it seems to have little or no effect on their behavior. They seem to be oblivious to how their actions negatively affect our family, especially me. And while I have explained (many times) that everyone, especially the two of them, benefits from being obedient, still they just want to keep pushing. 

Unfortunately the same can be said for us as adults. I mean we speed down the road with total disregard to the speed limits, but rather focused on how far over the limit we can set our cruise and still avoid a ticket. I have known people who disregard the due dates on their bills and mortgage, but rather operate exclusively in the “grace period”, only submitting payment before any additional fees hit. Or how about the people who show up late to work, take long breaks, or take sick days just to stay home. We push and push to see how much we can get away with. We push in our relationships with people as well.  I have observed men and women push within their marriages to the point of divorce. Whether it is to see how many affairs one can have before the other one leaves, or just being disrespectful and/or physically and verbally abusive to another. 

In my total frustration with my children, the Lord so graciously pointed out just how much I push the limits in my relationship with Him and my Christian walk. But Lord, we are talking about my children here!  Likewise, we are His children. The Lord sets limits and boundaries for us, yet repeatedly we want to push those. How far can we go before we cross a line into sin? Can I spend just as much (or more) time with all my unbelieving friends as I do in fellowship with my Christian brothers and sisters and continue to expect to be salt and light to them? How many days can I go without reading my Bible, before I start to forget what it says? Do I really have to pray every day? I could go on and on, but you get my point. The Lord sets boundaries for us, not to be dogmatic, but rather out of love. He loves us and He tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   (Jeremiah 29: 11) Time after time in scripture the Lord set boundaries for the people’s good, and time after time they pushed the limits of those boundaries. I mean, look at Adam and Eve! And still day after day, you and I are no different. 

My prayer is that rather than push the limits, I would respect them and strive to joyfully live within those limits, trusting the Lord in the plans He has for me. And I pray my children will do the same.

 Lord, please help me to be an example not only to my family, but to the world as well. Bring conviction when I am pushing the limits that You have set for me. And thank you for loving me enough to give me boundaries. Amen

I Hope Jesus Likes Green

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 View Comments Comments (3)
I spent the day painting the master bathroom, and I realized two things.  First off, I have a whole new respect for painters, especially when it comes to painting bathrooms!  Secondly, while my purpose in painting the bathroom came from my motivation to sell my house, God changed the desire of my heart.  Let me explain…
 
Since we will be moving soon, Jerry and I have been working diligently to make “improvements” to the house to improve our chances of selling it.  Thus, my most recent project has been painting the master bathroom.  In an effort to be frugal, I used some leftover paint Jerry’s dad gave me a while back.  While I am not sure the crafty name this paint came with, simply put it is green.  This green is not bright or obnoxious, but rather an earth tone green.  So as I am slathering paint on the walls I realize that the previous owner really was not much of a painter either, as he has slopped paint all over the place. (It must have been a man because a woman would have paid attention to details like when the wall ended and the cabinets began).  He not only coated the walls, but the baseboards, mirror, and cabinets, (and why hadn’t I ever noticed how terrible it looked before now?)
 
I digress…So I am thinking even if I do an “alright” job painting it will be an improvement from the last paint job, right?  And besides, I am not painting it for my enjoyment, but rather just to sell it to the next guy.  But in my moment of half hearted effort the Lord spoke to me very clearly out of His word; “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”  Colossians 3:23

At that point I repented of my lazy attitude and began painting the bathroom for Jesus.  It was no longer about just getting the job done, but about preparing a place for my Lord.  We have been praying that God would bring a buyer for our house, but tonight I stopped painting so the house would sell, and painted out of love, both for my Lord and for whoever lives here after us.  I kept thinking about the next owner of this house and how I could show him/her the love of Christ by painting the walls the best I could.  I just kept praying that since I was painting these walls for Jesus, that His presence would dwell in this house even after I am long gone.  I worked as hard as I could on the bathroom; and while the walls are not perfect, neither am I, but God loves me anyway!  So, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” even if it’s painting a bathroom.  Thank you Jesus for loving me, and I hope you like green!!